Monthly Archives: December 2011

A holiday gone, but new fears arise before the new year.

The holidays were truly amazing.  Moments like these with my family are the ones I treasure.  Just watching my niece’s eyes light up with joy looking at her gifts, and playing with my baby niece Vicki.  The laughter, jokes, songs, movies, and the tears of happiness as my mom received her portrait of her granddaughters in Christmas outfits.  These are truly Kodak moments.

I love my family so very much.  They are the ones that give me the strength to carry on in life.  Without them I would not have made through a lot of trying times in my life especially in the United States Army.  What can I say people I am a big time family man.

There is however one thing that is bothering me.  I asked someone out for New Year’s Eve.  He accepted my invitation, and I already bought the tickets for us to go to Navy Pier.  Since December 21st I have not heard from him.  I can’t help but be worried about him.  There is also a creeping fear that perhaps the month that we spent dating each other was a waste of time.  I can’t help being scared that I am going to be stood up for a second year in a row on New Year’s Eve.  I ask everyone out there to pray that doesn’t happen.  If this person turns his back on me for New Year’s Eve.  I have one thing that keeps me standing tall.  My niece, my angel, my strength.  Image

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The holidays are here.

Another Christmas has come yet again, and yet it seems so bittersweet.  I can’t help but think about everything that has happened in the last few months.  Mainly the death of my cousin Harry (Dee Jay) Rodriguez.  My cousin’s murder was such a devastating blow to our entire family.  We can’t help having heavy hearts as the holidays arrive.  

We are making plans to see my aunt today to support her on this first Christmas without her son.  We all need to be there by her side showing her as much love and support as possible.  As long as our memories of Dee Jay stay strong he will always be with us.  Then from there it’s off to see grandma.  I always look forward to seeing my grandmother for one reason only…Puerto Rican food.  I think me and my dad have the same mindset in this particular area of interest since we both watch what we eat on a daily basis.

Well since there is little time to update, I would just like to wish everyone a very happy holiday.  I will be back on the 26th with pictures of the family festivities.  Merry Christmas everyone and please keep my cousin’s mother in your prayers.  God Bless you Dee Jay we love you and miss you.  

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Looking back…what a life!

On December 7th 2011 I was happy to receive my official honorable discharge from the United States military.  I couldn’t hold back the tears that were running down my face.  I suppose it had something to do with the memories that were flowing through my mind.  While some of the memories I had were good, the majority of them were bad.  I always remembered the cruel things that were said to me courtesy of basic training.  I don’t hold grudges against the drill sergeants because I know it’s their job to break us down and build us back up again.  To those drill sergeants I owe them a sincere debt of gratitude.  They basically eliminated the immaturity from my system.

My days in Iraq especially the first tour were among the worst days of my life.  There are people out there who don’t understand what a combat soldier experiences over there.  The horrible 120° plus weather, the many times a soldier goes out with his convoy and gets either shot at or hit by a roadside or vehicle bomb.  The comrades you lose in combat, the dead corpses you see.  This is what either molds a soldier into a good person, but it can also leave a soldier damaged.  I am happy to say that with the right help I was one of those who made it safely both physically and emotionally.

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Despite the things I experienced while in the military I am still very proud of my accomplishments.  Don’t get me wrong I was by no means a stellar soldier…in fact I screwed up quite a bit.  This is what builds a person up in the military.  I sacrificed a lot in my decision to serve my country including time with friends and family, my education, and my ex boyfriend of nearly three years.  Yes, in case most of you don’t know I am a gay man who served his country proudly.  I have no regrets in making this decision.  People sometimes ask me why I joined the military?  To which I humorously reply “I was bored” which is not far from the truth.  I was so bored with working the civilian retail job and going nowhere in my life.  Plus I was in a very rebellious phase against my parents.  Long story short, I was a very wild individual.
So now I am prepared to begin a new chapter in my life.  I walk with my head held high knowing that I can finally close the military chapter of my life for good.  Now it’s time for the new me to finish my goals that I put on hold, and finally do what I want to do for me.